What made you laugh today?

[mustang5861]

What made me laugh today? I'm in Northern California at the moment, where today (Tuesday) there has been what the TV weather presenters are referring to as an 'atmospheric river event' - that'll be a bit of rain to anyone living in the real world!

[slogen51]

Teenager runs away to join a Anti West terrorist organisation now wants the British government to come and take her home! That's a laugh.

[The Phantom]

Teenager runs away to join a Anti West terrorist organisation now wants the British government to come and take her home! That's a laugh.

With the biggest joke being she'll get let back in as well, no doubt

[Blackcat1]

She didn't know what she was getting into!! Bless her. She thought she was going to Butlins!!!

[Vulcan74]

Celebs moaning that their hard done too!!

[Mike]

Celebs moaning that their hard done too!!

I think you meant to say " Celebs moaning that they're hard done to".

[Vulcan74]

BBC1 Warren with Martin Clunes absolutely brilliant could not stop laughing.

[saint1]

This ----> https://youtu.be/lhDz8xMXU8s

[Blackcat1]

Hard done by surely Mike??

[Supra]

If a Teenager turns her back on the UK & joins the other-side, becoming rightly Stateless in the process there is always somewhere to go....passing the "Bat Out of H~~~" on the way!
No right to feel "Hard done by" at all?

[Pune]

THIS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-LTRwZb35A

[AndrewBarclay]

From The Daily Telegraph 14th, March, 2019.

Man killed chip-stealing gull.

A man on a day trip to the seaside has been sentenced to a three month
curfew after he killed a gull because the bird knocked chips out of his hand.

John Llewellyn Jones, 64 years, was visiting Weston-Super-Mare when the
lesser black-gull flew around him trying to reach his chips and knocked the
snack out of his hand.

Jones, from Cardiff, reacted by catching the gull by its leg and smashing
it into a wall. The attack on july 17 last year was witnessed by members
of the public, including children.

The RSPCA said Jones was convicted by North Somerset Magistrates on
Tuesday after pleading not guilty to an offence under the wildlife and
Countryside Act 1981, by which gulls are protected. he was given a 12
week curfew, between 8pm-8am and must pay £750.00p costs and a
£85.00 victim surcharge. My question who will open the bank account
for the Gull.

[Nighthawke]

Where is the humour in that?

[slogen51]

Apparently there is a whip round for a kittiwake

[Mike]

From The Daily Telegraph 14th, March, 2019.

Man killed chip-stealing gull.

A man on a day trip to the seaside has been sentenced to a three month
curfew after he killed a gull because the bird knocked chips out of his hand.

John Llewellyn Jones, 64 years, was visiting Weston-Super-Mare when the
lesser black-gull flew around him trying to reach his chips and knocked the
snack out of his hand.

Jones, from Cardiff, reacted by catching the gull by its leg and smashing
it into a wall. The attack on july 17 last year was witnessed by members
of the public, including children.

The RSPCA said Jones was convicted by North Somerset Magistrates on
Tuesday after pleading not guilty to an offence under the wildlife and
Countryside Act 1981, by which gulls are protected. he was given a 12
week curfew, between 8pm-8am and must pay £750.00p costs and a
£85.00 victim surcharge. My question who will open the bank account
for the Gull.

You find that funny, Frank?
I should think that the Victim Surcharge will go to the RSPCA.

[Blackcat1]

No humour in that at all! What an obnoxious b******!! But sadly as a volunteer for the RSPPCA it's not the worst thing i've seen!!!!!!!

[welshandy]

This made us chuckle a bit. Email received this morning 1st line says "We are writhing to know if it's true that you are DEAD?"(they can not even spell writing!!)

[eagle driver]

Another Darwin award winner
A Gun Named 'Lorena'
2018 Honorable Mention
Confirmed True by Darwin
Good Guy With a Gun Defends Our Species



(27 Nov 2018, Arizona) The Buckeye Police Department reports that a man accidentally shot his own sausage while shopping in the meat aisle at Walmart. Arizona law does not require a permit (nor a holster for that matter) to carry a firearm, so our hero felt free to carry his piece "commando-style" (unholstered) beneath his waistband. When the unholstered gun drifted down into his jeans, he reached in and pulled the trigger while repositioning his weapon. This loose cannon's low hanging fruit didn’t have a chance. Firearm supporters can add this event to the arsenal of ammunition against gun control. Guns really do make a difference.
Darwin Award? Odds are, our gun nut (pun intended) shredded his ability to breed and wins the uncommon Living Darwin Award: still alive but unable to reproduce. Otherwise, his reward is an Honorable Mention -- "better luck next time." We await further information.
Discuss on REDDIT || Discuss on FACEBOOK
Reader Puns
"His gun was named 'Lorena'." -P.Lines
"So he went off half-cocked?" -J.Petry
"Fresh sausage half off!" -P.Hall
"The guy is now a gun nut without nuts. Hopefully he'll come to enjoy the catheter." -G.Ely
"After this he will be definitely shooting blanks." -I.Titi
"His barrel was shortened that day." -A.Yuan
"Friends call him 'snubnose' now."
"He's not half the man he used to be." -D.Webb
"Clean up on Aisle 4." -M.Miller

[slogen51]

Awww what happened to the sick jokes and sanctimonious comments - have they been censored

[C24]

Yup