Having fun with BT scam calls !

[zero_gravity]

Not funny I know , but today after our eleventh scam call from BT [ Yes we are on TPS ] I decided to play a little game with the callers.

We had visitors at the time so I put the phone on speaker.
The caller , ethnicity unknown but suspect India / Mumbai is in the frame , went through the same old story that my BT broadband was being used for illegal purposes
and unless I let her correct things , I would be cut off etc .... [ I'm not with BT ]


OK I said , tell me what to do...
Switch your PC on she said....It is on said I , in fact I have twenty PCs running on a server here , which one are you looking at!
She was taken aback and again asked me to switch my PC on.

They are ALL on , I said.
OK , but which machine is on , she asked ????

Let me help you I said....

PC one is a direct link to the National Security Agency in the USA
PC two is a direct link to the FBI in Delaware
PC three is......

I didn't get any further , she said I needed to talk to her supervisor.

After a long pause on came another Indian " lady".

Which PC is on she asked.....

Well , PC one is.....etc.....

She went very quiet , then bombarded me with a tirade of abuse!
You dickh**d , you moron , you mother***er , etc etc

Bearing in mind the phone was on speaker and our visitors were listening in , it was quite an educational experience!

After she ran out of expletives , she rang off.


I wonder if those nice people in Mumbai receive unwanted abusive phone calls from the UK ?

Will I get another call ? ......it's anyone's guess , but I'm rather looking forward to it !
I'll record it next time and send it to the CEO of BT...uncensored!

Now the serious bit.....which stone do these folk crawl out from underneath?
Unfortunately some people fall for the scam , and before they know it they have given enough info for these scumbags to empty their bank account...
or seed their PC with ransomeware.

Come on BT , get a grip....there is no such thing as number withheld...all calls can be traced and even VOIP calls can be tracked back to
geographical regions.


ZG

[garyscott]

Nice one mate!! I've only ever had a bit of fun like that once a couple years ago, said that i was "DCI something or another" and that this is a crime scene that they had rung in to, and that i would like contact details for all involved in ringing as they will need to be interviewed as the victim was scrawling on the walls "they keep talking to me at all hours . . They wont leave me alone". Didn't get many calls for a few months then lol.

[TankBuster]

These calls are a pain in the rse, but there is fun to be had!

In the past I have repeated back everything they say like an echo . Another good one is to take the telephone handset and place it in front of the T.V for them to listen to .

TankBuster

[Sparts99]

I usually play along for a bit then ask them does their mother know what they do for a living, would she be proud of them, how would they feel if their mother's bank account got emptied.

Or the 'you've had an accident in the last 3 years' ones, I used to hand them over to my daughter who patiently explained that 'a pegasus knocked her off her unicorn', that was fun to listen to.

[zero_gravity]

Just received another from 02341779421
They wouldn't play this time and rang off (

[Sky Pirate]

Yup had one whilst on the train...Asking if I had an accident in the last three months...well yes I replied in a loud voice to the chap on the other end..I was having great sex with with your wife last weekend whilst you were pestering people on yer phone, when the condom I was wearing burst!!!...he hung up! Train passengers were having a good old chuckle.

[reheat module]

Yup had one whilst on the train...Asking if I had an accident in the last three months...well yes I replied in a loud voice to the chap on the other end..I was having great sex with with your wife last weekend whilst you were pestering people on yer phone, when the condom I was wearing burst!!!...he hung up! Train passengers were having a good old chuckle.

Simply brilliant, all I need now is one of them pesky callers...

[Rugbyref]

It all depends on my mood, but sometimes I use my son's ploy of just quoting random words "elephant" "72" "bucket" etc,
Sometimes I sympathise with them for not being able to get a proper job, and ask if they would like counselling.
On others, after they announce that they are Samuel or Michael or whatever, I reply "there is no way you mother in India Christened you Samuel".
If I am in a bad mood, I pick up the Acme Thunderer that I keep by the phone and give a loud blast down the phone.

Any more good suggestions out there?

[Evergreen 44]

Sean Lock featured wrong number calls in one of his stand up routines, amusing solutions to a niggling problem (;0) check it out on youtube

[Andy_99]

I had one the other day asking me about the accident I'd recently had..

I reply with oh yes which one would that be I've a quite a few

Response was - Pardon you mean you've had multiple accidents we can help you claim damages

I responded - I'm a Crash Tester for ROSPA it's my job

Needless to say they rang off

[shimano]

After the third call from " Microsoft " who were kindly informing me that i have a virus on my pc i asked which dept at MS she was calling from, she assured me it was the anti virus dept, after i calmly told her that i work for MS ( i dont ) in the human resources dept and that they do not have an anti virus dept she had the nerve to say i was lying ( ok so i was ...) i simply told her to give me her extension number and her managers name,she quickly muttered something about getting him and promptly hung up

as for the accident chasers,when they say i have been involved in an accident i cheerily ask when it is going to happen so that i can be prepared,they hang up everytime

[welshandy]

I had one the other week, from an Accident claim company, asking to speak to a Steven ******(one of my Son's). I asked what it was concerning & the reply came that as he(Steven) was injured in an accident whilst driving & wanted to know if he wanted to make a claim. When I told them I couldn't see how as he is only 10!!, they rang off

[Supra]

I use slight variations on your replies 'shimano'.. But I love the concept of asking when this accident will happen, perhaps adding "today,tomorrow or next week?..as I need to put clean underpants on!!"
1) My call on the TPS registered land-line came from 'Microsoft' & featured 'Michael' (very obviously a bankrupt Slumdog Millionaire?) who assured me of the immediate urgency of my co-operation! I pushed him for more detail, his surname was 'Smith'. He even gave me a spurious London phone number.
When asked if he knew my name, he said it didn't show on his screen. I told him... "I'm DCI Mustafa Collar of the Metropolitan Police, UK National Cyber Crime Unit (National Crime Agency) & we would be in contact shortly.......buzzzzz.
2) Regarding Ambulance-chasers, I had a call to my mobile regarding an accident 2 years previously. When I asked how they got my number, they couldn't/didn't reply. When asked about the 'incident', it tied-in with a collision involving another vehicle which reversed into the side of my stationary car, but they didn't know that! When asked who they were hoping to talk to, it was me! I told them "I'm sorry, that accident was not me, but a close-friend who died from medical complications shortly after that incident"
Their eyes lit-up at the thought of a bigger claim..."slight problem, I (he) was walking back to my (his) car when he had heart-failure on seeing the accident, NOT actually in it at the time of the accident!!!" ....buzzzzz

Another email scam to watch for is the current 'Paypal' one! This particular email was intercepted by my online security. It is designed to incite panic & came on an extremely authentic-looking document complete with Paypal Luxembourg address & Logos, but after the initial panic of your "account beng suspended due to possible third-party attempted transactions", you realise the written grammar only reads correctly when you read it in a psuedo-Indian accent! Also, the email sender was 'info@deepamenterprises.co.in'....so obviously NOT Paypal. If I had clicked on the 'Confirm Details' it would've been Game-over.